My Biggest Pet Peeves, AKA Things That Keep Me Single

As Noted from the Airport Gate

1. Incessant Finger Licking - First of all, my mama taught me to wash my hands before I eat, so finger licking your unclean hands, even when lightly dusted with food, is like sucking on a subway railing that has been touched by everyone in the city and was probably last cleaned in 1972. Please remember to pick up a napkin and save me the subjection to that repeated wet noise.
2. Incessant snot-sucking-in - Blow your nose if you have the sniffles; if you have no Kleenex on hand, tough luck. Your nose is not meant to be a human vacuum.
3. The sound that nail biting makes - that little chewing noise drives me crazy (if you hadn't noticed, I am extremely oversensitive to sounds)
4. Old people on trains who yell at me for reasons that are obviously out of my control. (Of course my purse is wet, it's raining!) This is becoming a recurring theme in my life.
5. When people at work cause a mess at the communal sink and don't wipe it down, which causes me to walk around with a huge wet spot on my lower abdomen for the rest of the afternoon.
6. When people use the word "ghetto" to describe things that are most definitely not ghetto.
7. When people make declarations about how broke they are, but all the evidence is to the contrary.
8. The people who stand on street corners trying to evoke liberal guilt so they can get your credit card info. I'm as liberal as they come and of course I support Planned Parenthood and donate to the Red Cross, but I will never respond to street-corner solicitors.
9. Most importantly -People who only pretend to listen to me, but are really fiddling around on their laptops/phones/other digital devices, forcing me to constantly repeat myself because "I never told them ___"