The Times They Are A'Changing

I'm sitting here tonight typing this on my new lappie! I'm hoping to update this, and my other blog more often now, since the previous lappie was held together with heavy-duty tape and moved at the pace of a snail. Definite disincentive to write. So, readers, if you don't see me updating this thing often enough for your liking or if you know me well and hear that I'm slacking on any of my writing projects, remind me that I have a new machine and have no reason not to be writing!

I can afford to stay up as late as I want to mess around with this toy since tomorrow will be spent not at work, but rather, packing and shipping my baby brother off to college for his undergraduate year. Seems like he's still a child. I will probably refuse to ever see him as an adult. As of tomorrow, it'll just be me and my parents at home.

As of Sunday afternoon, the Amladi house will have an empty nest. Because I will be arriving in Boston. It's rather interesting this age gap I have with my brother. In these two years I stumbled around finding myself, he grew to college age. All the anxieties he feels about school I've already experienced. I recall just how scary it was to be alone on campus of 40,000+ hoping that my roommates would like me, that I would find a group of friends that would accept me quirks and all, and that I would not absolutely fail at school.

Six years later, I'm back where I'm started, slightly wiser for the wear. I possess all the same insecurities. Only this time, I have an established rapport with my roommates and bring with me an academic pedigree that demonstrates I can make it in school. The friend part is a little more terrifying (as is the love part... but hey, it's not like I've ever been good at finding love). I'm not a super-social butterfly but, I like people. I wouldn't call myself anti-social in any way. But it takes me a while to adjust. And to let people in. I just hate how vulnerable I am in unfamiliar settings. I don't want it to read as desperation, so I tend to isolate, so I can remain aloof.

Well, this is a big move. It's time for a fresh start. Old habits die hard, but I'm hoping to push my self way into the discomfort zone and enjoy life to the fullest.