You Can Go Back Home Again, But Not For Good

Just as soon as I touched down at O'Hare, hopped the Van Galder bus to Rockford, and settled into my bedroom, I heard the news. Rockford, Illinois: 9th most dangerous city in America. Yes, I had grown accustomed to Rockford's annual appearance on the "Worst Places to Live in America," lists but I hadn't realized just how crime ridden Rockford has become.

For those friends of mine in Boston who think of Rockford as the hometown of the Peaches, the team from A League of Their Own, we are far from our World War II-era glory. Once the former "Screw Capitol of the World," a hub for manufacturing, we now boast one of the highest unemployment rates in the country and kids are getting shot at our movie theater. Not exactly good times.

Rockford is my home. It's in my DNA. Even transplanted across the country, my Midwestern mentality is unshakable. I prefer honest, open, hard working people to the entitled and pretentious. I respect self-made individuals. I prefer low maintenance to ostentatious. I am loyal to my sports teams. I enjoy dousing everything in nacho cheese.

There are many things I love about my hometown: my family lives here, my friends (the ones who have witnessed my entire development and still love me), its proximity to two of my favorite cities: Chicago and Madison.

But despite all these things, I can't allow myself to get too comfortable here. Yes, this is my home. It always will be. And I will always treasure my visits here. But I can't settle here again. I can't support a city where adoption services are shut down (displacing 300 kids) just because gay couples are allowed to adopt in the state. And while my education did me fine, I could not put my potential future children through the dysfunctional Rockford School District system.

Love ya Rocktown, but sooner or later, I've got to leave you behind.

Get me outta here

I attended a job fair Saturday after work just to see what sort of opportunities are out there for me. Turns out there really aren't any ... around here. Rockford Jobapalooza was kind of a bust. First off, there was an informational app. we had to fill out when we got there and we had to categorize ourselves as 'boomerangs' - people who grew up here, moved away, and want to come back, 'resident boomerangs' - same thing, but these people actually live in town, etc. etc. None of the categories states, "born in Rockford, left, came back, but want to leave again." I believe that describes a yo-yo or something; a person who gets dragged back in but doesn't want to be there.
So I sucked it up and let myself be a resident boomerang.

So Sha'Donna and I went up to two tables and initiated some awkward banter with the two media companies. Of course, both were small firms and were looking to hire people with way more experience than either of us have. I tried to namedrop the Trib while I was there, but it really wasn't working too great. The place was packed, which wasn't surprising given the unemployment rate in town (almost 10%), but I was shocked to be among the top prospects there. I don't know who those companies were looking for, considering that most people weren't dressed up and didn't have any resume copies with them (who shows up at a fair without a resume?). It was obvious to us that we were waaay overqualified for the positions open.

This only drives me more to want to pump out some stellar cover letters. Lately, I'm getting dumber though. I can just feel the intelligence falling away. And talk about creativity block. It's hard to move out to the city, but I have to make it happen soon before my laziness completely outweighs my motivation.

My family's getting more exhausting to deal with. They've got their own frustrations and it's nice to be able to mope at home, but it's not a constructive atmosphere.

I'm not sure who to be more active than I was this summer, but I gotta kick it into gear.

Working for the weekend

Guys, I realized the one thing I'm truly skilled at ... complaining! Ta da! No wonder nobody wants to hire me. I don't complain at work or anything, but ya know, in my head, they're all just piling up.

I don't think a monkey could do my job, as my boss told me. But after a week or so of it, I don't think I'm going to have a problem with anything. I refuse to pick up the phone, and I think that bothers some people but whatevs, I'm just going to end up putting them on hold for someone else (I function I don't even know how to use).

On the upside, I'm excited for Wednesday, when we get to spend our time volunteering somewhere or the other for "Community Days," and we don't have to wear professional looking clothes that day either.

I'm checking the e-mails less and less these days, but I don't want to give up all hope and consign myself to being a cat lady (though I wouldn't even have cats cuz they make my eyes water) either. Seriously, prospects for everything are low.

I got an e-mail from Maximum PC asking my send in some samples before Friday night. That would be sweet, except for I don't really know actual things about computers. Like a how-to on computer videocard upgrades. Don't know how I would even go about that. Or a review of hardware. Reviews are certainly easier, but too bad I know nothing about new hardware. Plus I realized that even if I bs my way to an impressive sample selection, once they interview me, they're bound to realize I'm not a computer nerd.