School's Out for Winter

Guys, I am 1/3 of the way done with grad school.
This is both exhilarating and frightening, as am I just that much closer to having to get a job again! YIKES

This semester was such a mixed bag of emotions. Lots and lots of highs, but as usual with me, much self-pity and neediness as well.

First off, I think I lost some weight in September because it was always so freaking hot and there is NO air conditioning in my apartment. Oh, I had two fans circulating at once, but they were no match for 101 degrees on move in/orientation day.

I spent much of September missing my Condo Crew from back home and sending them sad drunk texts at Comm events about how my new roommate was dancing with the gay guy I wanted to make my friend, or how no one but me was in to the reggaeton music at the bar, or how the T stopped running after midnight, so I had to unnaturally go out to the bar before 11.

October was a month for getting caught up in schoolwork. I had a mid-term, a mid-project report, and a middle of the semester crisis all due that month. I also constructed a friend square, which was a good support system, though it has since sort of gone on hiatus.

November was the month things started coming together. I got a little more comfortable in Boston. Enough so I could bluff knowing my way around town when my sistah from home came to visit. And by that point, everyone in my program knew each other, and I was really starting to bond with my "Comm Studies Coven."

And well, December has been a rush to the end. And now, the end has come. Somewhat anti-climatically because my final was made "optional," to which I said hell no, and now have a week to hang about Boston. So there has been some drinking. Mostly eating. (That weight I lost? Probably gained it back and then some.)And spending time with new friends before we all leave for a month.

It took a while, but I can safely say, I'm really enjoying my time out here.

Teens Get Nutty

Nutmeg... the new flavor of drug. Who would have known? Ignore the fact that seafood dude from Top Chef was called on to be an expert on this topic.



Apparently, one can snort or smoke nutmeg. Has anyone tried this?

When Less Is Just Less

Listen up, sassy undergraduate with flashy fashion sense, you are not Lady Gaga. Nor are you Beyonce. You might have runway dreams, but for now, you are living a dorm-room-mirror lifestyle. My time in Boston has been short – one month to be exact – but in that period, I’ve observed many a wardrobe malfunction.

Why, just the other day, a girl sauntered past me without any bottoms on. That’s right, no real article of clothing from her midsection on down. Her ensemble was as follows: a shirt that hit her at the waist and a pair of opaque tights.

It must have been embarrassing when she discovered she had forgotten to grab a skirt out of the closet when she got dressed in the dark. Or perhaps she was so proud of the underwear she had purchased that weekend, she just had to show her professor and classmates. Either way, the tights-as-pants look was beyond inappropriate for school. And confusing. Pants are not frivolous.

On another occasion, I witnessed a student hurrying to get to class. The girl was not wearing a shirt. Well, I take that back. Technically, her blouse could be categorized as a top. But since it was completely sheer and I could make out every detail of her bra, I don’t think it counts. A see-through top with just a bra underneath is just a tad bit overexposed for your 9 a.m. lecture. Just because Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City attempted the look doesn’t mean you should too. Remember that bird hat from the SATC movie? Exactly.

After 8 seasons of Project Runway, I understand that fashion is about taking risks and making a statement. Just make sure your statement is appropriate for your setting. When in doubt, consider this: What would Michael Kors say?

I’m not advocating collars that are buttoned up to the chin or floor-length skirts. I just want to let you know, what you wear reflects on you. Think about the message you are broadcasting to the world.

Boston Blues

Well friends, I thought that by moving to a new place where I know not so many people and starting school again, I'd be motivated to write like I did senior year of college. You know, when I attempted to updated this blog daily. Remember those days?

There has been so much to write about these last few weeks. First, the anxiety of moving. Prior to my move, I was simultaneously excited and scared. I was more than ready to get "on to the next one;" yet, I was terrified of casting away my security blanket. Though in the past I've had no problem slandering Rockford, it is my birthplace and will always hold a special place in my heart. Besides those four years in Champaign, that summer in Chicago, and a few odd months in India, it's all I've ever known.

Until now. I'm in Boston, baby. It's everything I thought it would be and many things I didn't anticipate. There are things about it I already love and things about this city/state that just mystify me. I've wandered around town for the last two weeks confused and disoriented. I've acquired new roommates and made some acquaintances who I hope will become friends soon. I've had one week of class so far and one day of assistantship training. It's all so new and overwhelming, I've had little time to reflect. Certainly you will hear more about these things in the future.

For the time being, I am still in a homesickness phase. Though I didn't cry at the airport or on the plane (I really shocked myself there), I can't help but compare my experience here to my life in Rockford or my time in Chi. So much about Illinois is in disaster mode right now, but there is much to love.

In a non-particular order, these are a few of my favorite - and some begrudgingly missed - things:
1. My amazing friends who are in some ways extended family. Indeed as much or as infrequently as I see these people, some of them whom I have known nearly all my life and some who I have befriended in the last few years, I often refer to these people as my “sisters” or my “condo crew.” They have made the last two years of living at home and working for minimum wage (and less) bearable.
2. Ridiculous work situations that have inspired me to write. Behind the Teller Line coming to a bookstore near you!
3. Beef-A-Roo – a true Rockford original indeed. Is there some way I can have cheese fries shipped out to Boston? I don’t know what sort of crack they slipped into their seasoned salt, but damn I could eat it on everything.
4. Our sense of pride in our little claims to fame. Ie: the invention of the Sock Monkey, the Symbol, Cheap Trick and Michelle Williams (not the actress, the third member of Destiny’s Child.) Nothing of Ben and Matt or Harvard-level fame, that's for sure.
6. I will always be grateful for the mixed high school I attended, the experience of which led me to seek out a UN crew of friends everywhere I go. Though I've only hung around BU for a week, I am desperately craving a rainbow coalition to align myself with.
7. Coworkers who behave like a dysfunctional family. I don't know any other kind.
8. Public transportation that runs into the wee hours of the night. Oh L, as dirty as you are, you were always there for me.
9. My proximity to the city of Chi. How I love thee.
10. Fast food that stays open after bar-closing time.
11. Chain retail stores - there's no Wal-Mart for miles and it takes two modes of transportation (bus and train) to get to Target. I miss cheap one-stop shopping.
12. Mid-westernisms : Saying pop and pellow (though I don't say that) and dipping everything in ranch/nacho cheese sauce
13. Since the flow of fashion to the Midwest was slow, I never had to care if my clothes were "on trend." Everyone here appears to be cut from the same Urban Outfitters/American Apparel cloth.
14. I even miss cornfields. I don't think Trader Joes sells corn on the cob!
15. Last but not least, my fam. They drive me crazy, but I’ve got to love them.

The Times They Are A'Changing

I'm sitting here tonight typing this on my new lappie! I'm hoping to update this, and my other blog more often now, since the previous lappie was held together with heavy-duty tape and moved at the pace of a snail. Definite disincentive to write. So, readers, if you don't see me updating this thing often enough for your liking or if you know me well and hear that I'm slacking on any of my writing projects, remind me that I have a new machine and have no reason not to be writing!

I can afford to stay up as late as I want to mess around with this toy since tomorrow will be spent not at work, but rather, packing and shipping my baby brother off to college for his undergraduate year. Seems like he's still a child. I will probably refuse to ever see him as an adult. As of tomorrow, it'll just be me and my parents at home.

As of Sunday afternoon, the Amladi house will have an empty nest. Because I will be arriving in Boston. It's rather interesting this age gap I have with my brother. In these two years I stumbled around finding myself, he grew to college age. All the anxieties he feels about school I've already experienced. I recall just how scary it was to be alone on campus of 40,000+ hoping that my roommates would like me, that I would find a group of friends that would accept me quirks and all, and that I would not absolutely fail at school.

Six years later, I'm back where I'm started, slightly wiser for the wear. I possess all the same insecurities. Only this time, I have an established rapport with my roommates and bring with me an academic pedigree that demonstrates I can make it in school. The friend part is a little more terrifying (as is the love part... but hey, it's not like I've ever been good at finding love). I'm not a super-social butterfly but, I like people. I wouldn't call myself anti-social in any way. But it takes me a while to adjust. And to let people in. I just hate how vulnerable I am in unfamiliar settings. I don't want it to read as desperation, so I tend to isolate, so I can remain aloof.

Well, this is a big move. It's time for a fresh start. Old habits die hard, but I'm hoping to push my self way into the discomfort zone and enjoy life to the fullest.

Good Thoughts

I'm prone to jags of negativity. So I do have to apologize for the generally pessimistic and/or annoyingly self-depricating tone of my postings. So you don't think I'm a Debbie Downer, I've got to let you know that I can be a happy-go-lucky gal when the mood strikes.

Compliment of the day: I was at the car wash, which appeared to be pretty much unpatronized all day. When I pulled in, there was probably a crew of 20 young Latino men waiting to wash my car. I was definitely the center of attention. As I stood in the waiting room, the customer who came in after me chuckled to himself. "You sure are putting a twinkle in their eyes," he said to me.

Well, I'll take that. Being the object of attention for that brief 10-minute period (especially since I was make-up free and in rather drab clothes) really lifted my spirits. Boosted for the rest of the weekend.

Weighty things

It's the second week of my two-week free guest pass to Bally Total Fitness, courtesy of my girl Sha'Donna. I think they give out those things with the idea that a friend might use it once or twice and then forget about it, so they won't be out anything. Well, other than the weekend, I have been at Ballys every day for my workout. They probably didn't know what they were getting into when they made my pass. I will continue to be there every day until it expires.

And then, I might crash. I can see now how easy it is to get body-obsessed, and then, develop a disorder. I used to mock my coworker because he "needs" to eat a well-balanced lunch everyday and take a run and he divulged to me that when he eats sweets, he feels like he has to run off the fat from say, a cookie. Me and my inner fat kid, I could not understand what that was like. I've said it before and I'll reiterate, I have absolutely no will power. I love chocolate. I love dessert. I most especially love fried things.

I gained weight since I left college. I don't know how much because I refuse to weigh myself. This is because I KNOW I will be obsessed with weighing myself a lot and then will go into a downward spiral if my weight doesn't meet my expectations. I've never had problems with food in the past, but I have an obsessive personality. If something bothers me, I dwell. And when I dwell, I like to eat.

This past month, I've tried to eat healthy. Let me tell you, (fresh) blueberries in your oatmeal are the best! Not only is it a nutritious breakfast, but combining all that fiber with anti-oxidants is just as good as drinking a cup of coffee (which I drink now sugar-free for the past two years). Tonight I even made an omelet with spinach and tomatoes instead of eating the carbo-loaded rice my mother had prepared for herself. Now that I'm working out, I feel disgusting when I eat poorly.

When I eat something I probably shouldn't, such as frozen custard, a large order of cheese fries, etc., I think well, this is OK only if I work out later. I know that's not healthy. I know that eating some fat is OK. And I know the things I listed could be worse. Despite everything I know, I think otherwise. Just another issue to add to the list.

On the upside, today I stayed home from work to do an interview for an assistantship via webcam. Even though that felt like a total FAIL, when it was over, these two girls knocked on my door. They were from a local community group collecting change for families of domestic abuse survivors. I don't know if they were just buttering me up or if they were surprised to see me dressed up in my one really well-made work blouse in the middle of the afternoon, but I got an unexpected compliment. One of the girls said in shock when I opened the door, "You're really beautiful." Too bad she wasn't a grown man. I might have swooned.