Tuesday night I was confronted with my own inadequacies as I ran into an Aunty at Lady Wellness, the gym I'm abusing for a free week - I totally took two free razors yesterday. It's a really nice gym, complete with deodorant and hairspray dispensers affixed to the wall, complimentary razors next to the shower stalls, dance classes, and a spa (though that's not free). This Aunty is sort of gossip central amongst the Indian community in Rockford. For future reference, I'm not speaking of anyone who is actually related to me but rather a middle-aged woman of Indian origin. When I walked in, I saw her on the treadmill and knew I'd have to confront her seeing as the elliptical is my machine and is located in front of the treadmills. Also, I realized in the locker room when I was undressing and spotted my bank teller looking at me that I should never be a paying member there.
Although I avoided eye contact, it was unavoidable. As soon as I stopped for a water break, she came over to me. During our conversation, I had to tell her that I have no job and no real prospects at this time. Also that I'm poor (although I said it better . . . she asked me if I was shopping a lot and I had to laugh because what money would I be using to shop, especially A LOT) and she must have noted that I'm out of shape. And no doubt, from gossip central the message about me got passed around. Plus she too, like all other Indian people, thinks me incapable of taking care of myself, so that was great for my ego as well. Needless to say, I felt gross when I left (and not just because sweat was pouring out of me).
But yesterday I got over it. I was approved to write an eco-blog for this Web site: greenzoneonline.com and even though I'm really making no profit out of it, my name's getting out there and I'm keeping my mind busy. Plus, I cooked two actual from scratch meals and they tasted amazing. Some Indian curry yesterday made of potato cubes, spinach, onions, yogurt, chili powder, tomatoes, and hot sauce. That was followed up this morning by French toast with strawberries and whipped cream. I did not fuck up the toast, I was so excited. The first creation was improv and the second was a re-imagining of a Food Network recipe. I'm thinking now of taking the "College Student Cooking Show" a project of Christine, Kelly, and myself to a blog. By that I mean, we made up a lot of concoctions and 90 percent of the time, they tasted great. I've seen many more ads on Craigslist for bloggers and since Greenzone turned out to be legit, I think I will join a few more sites. Who knows, maybe I will work my way up to $20 a week.
I've also read 1/2 of all of David Sedaris' books in the last week. It's been enjoyable. And I've got my new library card, so things are better than they were Tuesday. I'm optimistic and I know eventually I'll find a job in which I don't have to compromise myself too much.
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