Moving on

It's funny that I've been so hesitant lately to just move the fuck away and start a life. I've always wanted to move out of Rockford and live in a state other than Illinois. So why is it that lately I've been concerned about not knowing anyone? About missing people? If my bumming summer has taught me anything, it should be that there is NOTHING left for me here.

As I waste the days watching TV, my Fridays and Saturdays wishing I could be out and about like I used to on the college campus, I'm realizing more and more that there are less things tying me to Rockford. Of course, I'll miss my friends. But I basically already miss them because it's very rare that I spend time with them. Most of my hometown friends have established their lives here and usually have to work or prefer to spend time with a significant other. Anyone else who would be in the same situation as myself seems to have at least migrated to Chicago.

As for family, I will probably always see them. My parents are getting older, but really I've been at home way too long. Now, we're all just stepping on each other's toes and getting on each other's nerves.

And oh ya, I haven't got a job lined up here either. It appears that I am over-qualified for the jobs I've applied to in Rockford and under-qualified for everything else. Which is great. And basically, a typical indicator of my life.

So yes, I'm hoping one of the city jobs I applied to likes me. Even though it is tremendously scary to move to a large city and know no one (when you are a desperate-for-attention type of person like myself), the possibility of meeting new and similar people is exciting. Dream situation - I move to the city, share an apartment in a hip/starving idealist neighborhood with a gay guy (so I can be his hag) and a like-minded girl, I work with awesome people, I meet some intelligent men who appreciate my intelligence and Midwestern non-jadedness. The beginning, not the end.