Make new friends but don't keep all old ones

<----- Photo Diana Facebook tagged me from high school. I have definitely changed and though I'm still close to some of these kids, who knows when I'll see the others again.

Now that I'm back home, I'm trying to reunite with some old friends. People I was extremely close to in high school. I have to tell you blog readers, it's incredibly hard to pick up where you left off four years ago. I wasn't here over winter break (I went to India to visit my grandparents) and I spent all of last summer working at the Trib. So I haven't seen most of my Rockford friends for at least a year. Except the ones who went to U of I (but those friendships have morphed to Rockford-college friendships) and Katie (but we go back to Bloom). I hung out with one of my closest middle-high school friends. And let me tell you, we needed an entire bottle of wine for the awkwardness to go away. After that, we were fine with each other. But we're such different people now (and hanging out in her basement brought back so many memories) that my mind kept going back to high school. I don't want the basis of any of my friendships to just be reminiscing and nothing fresh. Ugh.

Anyway, this rekindling made me curious to check up on friends I haven't spoken to in what feels like forever. Even though they are just in Chicago, I get the feeling I'll never be speaking to these kids again. Three years ago, that would have depressed me but, I'm OK with it. I looked over their MySpace pages (I don't think I've updated mine in over a year and I rarely check the site). I barely recognized them other than they looked basically the same in their photos. Our personalities are not the same. Some of them have lives completely dedicated to getting high. I hate to judge, but that was fine for high school, now it's time to try to achieve your dreams. Reunions with them would only be painfully awkward. I'm at a strange phase where some of my friends are for life (like Katie, Sha'Donna, Phyllis, Crystal) and my college friends (Christine, Kelly, Maria, Michelle) but others are just memories. On MySpace I noticed people I attended Eisenhower with are bffs with people from Auburn. I never would have guessed that they'd meet or be compatible. But I'm glad I don't live in permanent high school. I've grown and my friend circles have grown. It's great to have people who are always there for you (necessary as well) and people who knew you when but in order to progress, we need to shed relationships that squash our new personalities and find people who connect with the transforming versions of us.

I hope this posting makes sense. I guess I'm trying to say ... you shouldn't have to be with people who make you feel like you're not true to yourself. You should always feel at ease with your friends, and not have to impress them or regress with them.