Two things...

<----- This is not reality

1. This morning when I got up, my mom was at home for her day off, so Regis and Kelly was on. I learned from their guest (and Oprah's guru) Dr. Oz that people are more aroused in the summer months than usual. Well, that's just great. But I know it's true. The warmth and brightness of the summer months make nostalgic for things that never existed in my life. Like a very non-existent boyfriend. Damn you, summer months. And freaking Rockford. How could I ever meet an attractive, decent guy here. I don't want to go out by myself ... what if I see people I knew in high school. I can't have them judging my lack.

2. My mom was on the phone this morning with my aunt, talking about wedding pictures of a male family member. Neither of them approved of the bride because she was not attractive enough for him (read: too dark). However, they decided that the groom was not-so-light himself, so all is right in the world. SIGHHHHHHHHH. Sometimes, the internal racism of my people really gets to me. We're meant to be brown, people. Stop imagining that you are better because your skin pigment is less. Readers, I have to share that I have felt somewhat of a guilt in this matter. I am in solidarity with my sisters, but I know I haven't faced the same internal racism as them. The outer racism, from the rest of society that sees us all as brown, yes. But not the inner-group judgment. But, it's summer now, so I guess I'll be getting darker anyway. Fair and Lovely executives, go screw yourselves.